Saturday, December 10, 2011

Start of the Silly Season

Christmas is coming, and with it the usual groups of once a year drinkers who only venture into a pub because it is a prelude to their works party or whatever, clogging up the bar asking for halves of something that they feel  comfortable with because they have seen it before, or see it advertised on telly. And last night I heard a classic from one such, and as far as I can remember this is how it went!

Man, with silly hat, walks into a real ale bar with several excellent beers on offer. With him is his female partner who orders a half of lager. 
Man "Pint of smooth please"
Landlady " Sorry, its a real ale pub, we don't have smooth."
Man "Anything like smooth?"
Landlady " No, sorry, just real ale"
Man " Ok, a pint of whatever is the darkest beer you have........and can you put some ice in it"
Landlady raises eyebrows!
Man, aside to partner," Its always too warm without ice".

With 16 days to go until Christmas, if this is the standard of drinkers, we could be in for a classic. Bet he would n't have tried it in the Slubbers when Dave Green had it, or he would have probably found himself sitting in Bradford Road!   


Jibber said...

Reminds me of Robin Starbuck - formerly of the Fox and Goose in Hebden Bridge. A man walked in and asked for a pint of smooth. Robin looked at him and said 'We don't serve sh*t in here!' The man promptly left. For months after, Robin fretted, hoping the man hadn't taken the comment in its personal sense.

John F said...

We are lucky here in St Louis.
After years of being dominated by AB products, we finally have lots of bars (pubs) serving very good beer.
Still not enough serving cask ales that I would like, but it is much better with all the micro breweries that have popped up.

Festa said...

You forgot the over loud talking on his mobile phone, standing in the door way to have a fag instead of using the smoking area and generally being a rude git - Complete tosser should be condemned to only being allowed to drink at home!

Anonymous said...

Really hate what happens in our favourite pubs at this time of year but the extra trade is crucial. Just a shame that a lack of regular socialising makes these classless pricks what they are.