Christmas is coming, and with it the usual groups of once a year drinkers who only venture into a pub because it is a prelude to their works party or whatever, clogging up the bar asking for halves of something that they feel comfortable with because they have seen it before, or see it advertised on telly. And last night I heard a classic from one such, and as far as I can remember this is how it went!
Man, with silly hat, walks into a real ale bar with several excellent beers on offer. With him is his female partner who orders a half of lager.
Man "Pint of smooth please"
Landlady " Sorry, its a real ale pub, we don't have smooth."
Man "Anything like smooth?"
Landlady " No, sorry, just real ale"
Man " Ok, a pint of whatever is the darkest beer you have........and can you put some ice in it"
Landlady raises eyebrows!
Man, aside to partner," Its always too warm without ice".
With 16 days to go until Christmas, if this is the standard of drinkers, we could be in for a classic. Bet he would n't have tried it in the Slubbers when Dave Green had it, or he would have probably found himself sitting in Bradford Road!