Monday, October 11, 2010

Tea leaf reading - the real ale version

From the start of time, life has thrown up those people capable of reading into the future from information placed in front of them. We have had mystics who read animal entrails, utterings from the Delphic Oracle, soothsayers and haruspex, Tarot card readers, crystal ball gazers, and palmists. On Sunday I was privileged to make the acquaintance of 'Gypsy Yelland' whose speciality was reading beer glasses.

To read a beer glass, I was informed by the expert, not only required a life of dedication to the contents but also skill and perseverance to the art. Not everyone has the ability or opportunity to venture into the mystical side of beer. You need the right conditions. These are more often found in the North of the country for some peculiar reason. I will try to explain.

For the reader to get the best results and the best chance of a successful reading, a pint glass is preferable. It should be empty, having being previously emptied by the victim, sorry, subject of the reading. Hopefully, the side of the glass will still contain some of the foam from the head of the beer, (therefore the readings are not suitable for those who drink beer without a sparkler, or those who drink lager - the latter, would not understand the subleties of the art anyway !!). The reader then lifts the empty glass to eye level and reads the shapes left in the foam on the glass. Simples !! But does it work ?

After watching 'Gypsy Yelland' at work, I am still not convinced. She managed to read that Will's glass had plenty of bird related foam in it and assumed that he was a twitcher. As in birds, not as in some sort of affliction. Tara's glass had what was described as a sports field with lots of people there, I couldn't see it personally, but the mystic advised us it was a dead ringer for the field placings at the Australia v India test match. I was a little less sure with mine. Lots of hills and a plane. I would be going on a long journey by air. Not that I know of. Unless she mixed me up with Chris who is in Mexico at present.

Its a great way to while away some time in the pub. You have all the essentials for reading there. (i.e a beer glass with beer), try it yourself, see if you can read into the future. It more fun than trying to read a tea bag, and less messy that disembowelling animals,(which most landlords frown on apparently). See if you can become a 'spoomologist', that what google calls it .

{Thanks for being a great sport Elaine, and giving me the idea}

3 comments:

Brian said...

Mine tell me the same every time... Time for a refill!

Anonymous said...

Tim, I believe you have added some extra interpretations in there! Spoomology rules!
Elaine

Leigh said...

heh heh heh...you said 'spoomologist'....heh heh heh